Chicken Peanut Soup for My Family
WHO WANTS CANCER? NOT ME. Well, sometimes I like to picture my own funeral: Familiar faces warped with fury and grief. Friends and family feeling whittled, ended, by my willed end. Eulogies eulogizing my bizarre arguments with men, women, and children. Everyone I knew always waiting for ailing me to apologize plainly for all the lies and the pain I winningly caused. But mostly I muster an amused disposition and I very much fear the violence of death. Spontaneous Human Combustion (SHC), volcanoes, giant anacondas, sharp pointy weapons, and cancer, are among my fears. Blessedly, one of these fears is now a thing of the past, with these new cancer-curing shark cartilage supplements, SHARKMAXPLUS CANCER CURING REAL SHARK CARTILAGE DAILY DIETARY SUPPLEMENT AND CURE FOR CANCER. I know I promised I would never “sell out” but I forgot to reapply for foodstamps, and though I do not *technically* qualify for food stamps I am immune to your moral judgements regarding “welfare fraud.” Anyway, this site is expensive and my lifestyle in general, lavish and lustful. As my waistline expands in response to the rich, government-funded delicacies I must digest for success I increasingly require more specialized tailoring of glittering garments. Also, my complexion has been compromised, slickened from rich meats and buttered vegetables, and needs a specialized cleanser that retails for about 75 bucks. From now on I will be shamelessly shilling shark cartilage supplements—SHARKMAXPLUS CANCER CURING REAL SHARK CARTILAGE DAILY DIETARY SUPPLEMENT AND CURE FOR CANCER—and working them into my recipes. Only recently have modern science labs proven the inherent *magic* of sharks, a very old and mysterious type of large fish. These supplements won’t last long; the FDA and the AMA and the EPA and BIG PHARMA are out to suppress free enterprise and sabotage Americans. I recommend stocking up RIGHT NOW. The following recipe is ideal, for its robust flavor and viscid texture easily dissolve and mask the flavor of up to 50 servings of SHARKMAXPLUS CANCER CURING REAL SHARK CARTILAGE DAILY DIETARY SUPPLEMENT AND CURE FOR CANCER. Further tip: Now’s a great time to get into home canning. The deliciousness and heft of this soup, when canned, makes for an ideal projectile.
Chicken Peanut Soup:
Ingredients:
1 onion diced
⅓ cup toasted sesame oil
¼ cup minced fresh ginger
3 stalks lemongrass, outer stalks removed and minced
8 cloves minced garlic
⅓ cup yellow curry powder
½ tsp cumin
½ tsp coriander
½ tsp cayenne pepper
1 tbs paprika
A tiny bit of saffron
30 oz diced tomatoes
⅓ cup tomato paste
6 cups chicken broth
3 lbs chicken thighs, boneless and skinless
1 cup peanuts
1 cup peanut butter
Fresh cilantro
1-50 servings of SHARKMAXPLUS CANCER CURING REAL SHARK CARTILAGE DAILY DIETARY SUPPLEMENT AND CURE FOR CANCER
salt
Saute diced onion in sesame oil until translucent. Add garlic, fresh ginger, lemongrass, curry powder, cumin, coriander, cayenne pepper, paprika, saffron, a little salt. Add a little more sesame oil if needed to make a paste. Cook the paste for about ten minutes.
Add chicken broth, diced tomatoes, tomato paste, and diced chicken thighs. Simmer for about 30 minutes.
Add peanut butter, peanuts, and SHARKMAXPLUS CANCER CURING REAL SHARK CARTILAGE DAILY DIETARY SUPPLEMENT AND CURE FOR CANCER. Simmer for another ten minutes. Taste for seasoning. Serve with fresh chopped cilantro.
